Here’s the deal. I have someone in my life who’s done their best to literally kill me. This person has stolen from, lied to and about me; I could go on and on but I won’t. They’ve done this since I was 12 (my first memory). They do enough to tweek the truth and deceive so that even I have had to stop and question whether it’s me or not. They’re very deliberate and mean to cause pain. They’re intentional in that they target what they know will hurt the most. I find myself wondering when the next “shot” will be. I get wrapped up in my feelings: hurt, anger which leads to depression. Pretty soon I’m a tearful and sad mess. It breaks me all over again…or it did until now.
I’m sick of being a victim and I’m sick of that mentality. I’ve been disregarded, manipulated and been made to feel like a “less than” all of my life. No more. I’ve chosen to believe…even if I have to talk myself into believing…that I am who God says I am. To do that I realize it won’t come easily or naturally because we come to believe how we’re treated. As anyone who’s been an abused child or a battered spouse. If you hear it and feel it long enough you tend to think you somehow deserve it.
I’m learning I must “take my thoughts captive”; snatch them and turn them around. I must intentionally “think on these things, what is good, pure” and pleasing to Christ. I must think about TRUTH. And I must pray about everything. (Philippians 4:6-9). When a memory comes and I start dwelling I must be quick to “snatch” it, stop it and turn it into truth and what God says to do. Verse 9 says if I DO this I’ll have the “peace of God”.
The battle starts in the mind. Yes it happened. It was real and the pain lingers today from that ugly lifelong truth. I don’t have to make myself feel like I felt. I can control what I think about thus controlling how I feel. And I intend to. My nemesis has won their last battle. I choose to not react; I choose to be proactive. I’m on the offense and will control my territory and I will progress. Will you?
If we replace negative painful thoughts with what verse 8 says to think about we’ll keep peace and no more damage can be done. Replace the gruesome with God and you’ll feel and act better. I guarantee it!