I had a song on my mind I wanted to hear and being sure of who sings it, I pulled out all my CDs of this artist and began searching for it. Not there. I was sure I had it so I looked through my CDs again, went through my Ipod and MP3 player and still couldn’t find the song by the artist I was sure performed it. While listening to my Ipod though, I found the song and low and behold it was by another artist! I was wrong! I spent at least an hour looking where I never would have found the song.
Oh my that spoke volumes to me. We spend a lot of time looking, pursuing things through which we’re sure we’ll find what we’re looking for. Sometimes we find the perfect answer or the perfect thing only to find it didn’t do for us what we were sure it would. You know, I’m sure you’ve done it too: the perfect person, perfect house, perfect job…and after we’ve found it we pursue something else.
I sometimes long for the time I’ve wasted in empty pursuits back. I want a do-over, or at least a chance to refocus and do things better; I want a better pursuit!
I just can’t trust myself and what I think…a lot. Often I find I’m wrong. For weeks now Proverbs 3:5-6 has come to me through messages from friends, sermons, emails, devotionals, you name it. I’m sure my Daddy-God is trying to tell me not to rely on/bank on/depend on my own understanding of things and I’m seeing He’s so right. If I think on then act on what I perceive without prayerfully talking to Him for guidance my goodness, I’d be in some serious mess.
I’m learning now more than ever through this healing/restoration process to listen to Him more and me less. My feelings and emotions can’t be allowed to rule me. I must let Him rule me. That’s what His being “Lord of my life”, I’m learning, is really all about.